Miss, Miss! This Sucks!

Back to Reality

2010-04-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've come back to school after my wonderful wedding and honeymoon. I was away from school for four weeks; I have come back to school so re-energised I feel like I was away for an entire year! It is amazing how good a stimulating, exciting break can be for your mental well being.

School is pretty much the same, mundane, but coasting along. We are actually doing allright this year in the sense of our year 7's. Usually they run a muck, wrecking havoc on fellow students and teachers. We usually can't wait to see them go at the end of the year. This year is different. We have been fortunate enough to have 3 classes of 24, which means the behaviour issues have been split up quite well. Some less than ideal students have left. Which means the year 7's are an absolute pleasure to have in the school. I do have to say that I have a soft spot for these year 7's, I taught them in year 5 and in year 6. So there are quite a few of them I adore. There is a little part of me that is quite proud of their behaviour, because I know what they were like that first week in year 5, in ym first year of teaching. You know they will be a difficult year group when the principal bluntly states they are the horror year of the school. But it seems my patience and tenacity has paid off. The 40 or so kids I have taught are well mannered, well behaved and well taught. Even if I do say so myself. It seems like the year 7 teachers are getting all the credit, aren't the year 7's behaving wonderfully this year? Well, they were behaving wonderfully the last 2 years when they were in my class, with extremely difficult personalities and a class size of 30. No wonder they are better with less behaviour issue students and more organised classes. Sheesh.

The year 5's and 6's that I have now are a wonderful bunch as well. I really looked forward to coming back to them after my honeymoon, they are that lovely. This is my first year in my 3 year teaching career that I have had such a quiet class, with no huge behaviour issues. Well, there are behaviour issues, but there is no big, standout one to egg others on. The one behaviour issue I do have, I have worked hard to keep her on side, she gives me a hug every day because she likes being in my class so much. However, this is all set to change. A new kid is being placed in my class. And this kid is not the shy, reiting type. I have been blessed with a physically violent, disturbed little individual. Joyous!

I have read his file, I have spoken to the deputies. I feel so frustrated, as there seems to be no plan, no contigencies. I am to treat him like every other student until he does 'something major'. What this something major is I don't know.....stab someone? Choke someone? Teacher? Student? I just feel so annoyed, so frustrated that we have to take this student because he is in our school boundary. He is a student that should not be in the mainstream school system. he cannot function in a normal classroom. He needs to be put in a behaviour system. But our education system is so retarded, that things like that do not exist. So this child will come in, disrupt the learning of my kids, antagonise the small bahaviour problems, create allies....all the fun stuff I haven't had to deal with this year. Grrrrrrrr. Does anyone else feel as helpless and frustrated by this system?

shorter lunch breaks? No Thanks

2010-02-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

Our fearless leader, ol Bitchtits McGee called a 'short five minute meeting' after school on Thursday. Apparently this meeting was to only go for five meetings, maybe even four. She wouldn't take up much of our time at all! It was meant to start at 2.35pm, I left at 3.10. Hmmm.

The whole point of this waste of time was to distribute tweets. Yes, tweets. They consist of an A4 piece of paper, nicely titled Tweets. And on it were little boxes, filled with lots of writing, telling us dumb, useless teachers what was happening in our school. I'm not too sure if Bitchtits has been channelling social networking lately...she is on Facebook after all. But Tweets?? I had to stifle my laughter as she handed them out. Really? I'm surprised she didn't colour code the boxes.

Most of the information was pretty normal, I kinda knew most of it. Pretty good for me, usually I have no idea what goes on in the school, so this little peice of Tweets might actually come in handy. But, there were two boxes I had to disagree with.

The first box stated that we as teaching staff, must now cut short our lunch break by 5 minutes, so we can be out in the undercover area, telling the kids they must be sitting down and listening. Hmmm. Let me think about this one. No. I have the shortest lunch breaks ever. There is no other occupation that requires a degree, that makes people sacrifice their lunch times to look after kids i.e duty. If I was a checkout chick, I would get an hour lunch break. I get twenty minutes, maximum. My toilet breaks are regulated, before school, recess, lunch break. And now Bitchtits is telling me to cut that even shorter. Again, No. So the staffroom erupted into pandemoniom, as it does. We are quite a vocal staff-thankfully. So we gave our arguements, she blustered along, stating that we were being difficult, and in all the schools she's worked in, this is how it works. Funny thing..I did one of my Pracs in her last school, and they didn't do this. Strange. Me thinks I sense some bullshit.

So we sat their and argued and argued, and finally we actually won. I think she realised she would have a serious revolt on her hands if she didn't back down. And by revolt I mean we would stop listening to her completely, instead of 70% of the time. One of us might get the guts to disable her SMARTboard that's in her office-why she needs a SMARTboard I have no idea!

Second thing that I had serious issues with. We have to conduct one session of out of school parent meetings this term. that's fine. We scheduled ours for 3.30pm. No. Apparently we have to have the meeting after 5pm. ???? Excuse me? You want me to stay at school past 5pm? No. So i spoke to her, explained my opinions and my situation. You see, i am not being a difficult cow. Strange, I know! I'm getting married in two weeks, I have three sessions of personal training at 5.30pm, during the week. I also take 2 dance classes, after 5pm. Not to mention, several appointments to make me look as pretty as possible with my stupid face. So i physically cannot make it to school after 5. Apparently, I have to find a way around this. Good ol Bitchtits. Just because she doesn't have a life cos her husband had an affair. Everyone else has to be at school after 5 for these meetings. Resentment much? You know, if it was after the wedding, I wouldn't mind so much. But I need every personal training session I can get, my ass is still flabby. And I fail to see why I have to give up my time when I am not being paid for it. the department of education will not refund me my personal training fees. So how does that work? Because she wants these meetings at 5, we all have to go along with it like a flock of sheep? I checked with the union, there is no rule saying we have to have the meetings after 5pm. So what gives? Is she trying to make her staff members annoyed with her? Is she trying to increase our workload? It's like she is doing as many things as she can to annoy us.

So now I'm stuck in a tricky situation. I want to keep my head down this year, just teach, and stay the hell away from her. But I don't think I can do that. I refuse to be bullied into doing something as petty as having a meeting at 5pm when I have prior engagements. I don't even remember her telling us it had to be at 5 in the PD days before school started. heck, I can't even remember her telling us we had to have parent meetings this term! As a result, I am now racking my brains as to how to approach this situation. One thing is for sure, I dislike this woman more every day she waddles into school.

It Begins

2010-01-28T00:55:00.001-08:00

Ahhh....the new school year. I hoped to be filled with excitement about the new year, new classroom, new students, new SMARTboard. Can't say I'm overly thrilled or eagerly anticipating the day the kids start. Such a shame. I'm not too sure what it is. Maybe it's because I'm now in my third year of teaching, maybe it's kind of a slump? I'm not too sure. Either way, I need to muster up some enthusiasm fast.

I didn't have a bad day today, so looking on the bright side, that's good. I felt sorry for one of my fellow colleagues. Let's call her the Library Bitch. She likes to refer to herself as Research Technician, but Library Bitch has a much nicer ring to it. She foolishly put her hand up to take on the specialist role of library teacher. Why we need one of those is beyond me. We have a FULL TIME librarian. However, this librarian insists (i.e death threats delivered to your classroom) that your students choose their library book in a time limit of five minutes, all books must be presented to her barcode facing upwards, and if you want any teacher resources booked out, they take a minimum of two days to be done, maximum of a week. ??????? Really?

I heard this lovely little story, apparently it was true, about a librarian in a school far, far away that asks you what your theme is. She then goes and collects as many books or teacher resources available for you to book out. Cue gaping mouth. Really?? Are there actually nice librarians? Are there actually librarians who *GASP* put books away? All I've ever seen our librarian do is gossip and go get coffee. Even that's a hassle, so much so she organised for a coffee van to visit our school every week.

Back to my story of the Library Bitch. She is fighting to stake a claim in the library somewhere, you know, justa desk, a computer, pretty basic. Apparently, the Librarian's ten metre-yes, you heard right-desk cannot be cleaned or freed up in any way for the new Library Bitch. That's too hard. She also can't put her desk in the previous eight spots she suggested. So now she is in the corner. The far away corner, the dingy one. She'll get a computer, but that was a half hour heated argument with our computer technician who could be heard saying 'it's too much work to put a computer there' over and over again. Hmmmm. Silly me...but I thought he WORKED as a computer technician. Somehow I don't think the canteen lady is qualified to fix computers, so it must be down to him.

So, looking at things with a glass half full view, at least I'm not the Library Bitch. I am Classroom Goddess, Ruler of all things smelly and stupid.

The Nightmare Begins

2010-01-26T07:14:00.000-08:00

I'm up late tonight. I lay in bed for a while, annoying The Male, until he told me very nicely to piss off. Fair enough. I'll cop that. So I got up, wandered to the computer and tried to figure out why I couldn't sleep.

I can't sleep because I have realised school starts on Thursday. Urgh. Tomorrow I plan on being semi interested in my new classroom and will attempt to actually set up for the new year. Nah, don't get me wrong, I'm usually uber excited about setting up for the new year, all the new stationary and organisation.....it's like my own personal brand of heroin. But...not this year. Why? Fear not, future reader (how the hell do I actually get people to read this damn blog??). I have figured out why. I have wedding brain. It's a terrible affliction, where the patient can think of nothing but his or her wedding. It usually occurs 1-3 months from the planned wedding date. It's symptoms include feverishly buying gifts for the bridal party, trying every face cream and neck cream and ankle cream on the market in the vain hopes of looking something like the models on the wedding magazines. A tell tale sign that someone is suffering from wedding brain is the severe lack of any planning whatsoever in regards to the patients new class. The patient will be in a state of denial and will reassure you that the planning 'will be done....at least by the time I'm on my honeymoon!'.

So I have wedding brain. I don't care about school. I am in no way excited about school. I would dearly love to shoot myself on Thursday when Bitchtits McGee waddles into the library for our two very stimulating days of PD. God help me.

But you what...I feel guilty. I feel guilty about not being excited. I feel guilty about not being excited about meeting my new class. These are the kids I will be spending the year with...trying to mould them into something...not too sure yet. And that is terribly sad. I blame myself for that. But I also blame our fearless leader. The are so many teachers who are not looking forward to the new school year due to all the horrid possibilities she may create. And what a shame that is. I work at a school with wonderful, smart, talented teachers that are being beaten down every day by this woman. In the end, there will be no one left apart from new graduates. They are too afraid to say no. I've reached that point, in my life and in my career that allows me to say no. And I'm saying no more and more now. I pity the new graduates. I know what it's like. It was only 2 years ago for me. I've earned my battle scars.

So, onwards and hopefully upwards for the new school year. Here's to hoping my wedding brain wears off after a month, and the normal, excited, energetic teacher comes back. Until then...anyone got any good father of the bride gift ideas??

School? Already??

2010-01-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

I had a phone call this morning, at the insanely early time of 8.15am. Who on earth rings at 8.15am other than my mum? Turns out to be a fellow teacher on the frontline. When do we have to go back to school? (if you knew the staff at my school, you would know this to be a perfectly acceptable question in week 5 of the 6 week Christmas school holidays). I replied that we head back on Thursday and the kids start the following Monday. Crap.

I logged onto facebook yesterday-it's the holidays, what else am I supposed to do? And another teacher from the frontline is talking about buying a daily workpad. Now...if it was a new graduate or one of our really intense teachers, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. But this teacher? This teacher is that really rare kind of teacher, been teaching for years, has a wicked sense of humour, and really doesn't care that much about teaching anymore. She usually starts her specialist lessons off with 'so what should we do today kids?' Having said that, she is brilliant at what she does. But when she is buying a daily workpad...something is up. And I think I know that something. Bitchtits McGee. New principal who blessed us with her presence last year. She is so bad...it's almost amusing.

Let me detail Bitchtits McGee. She reminds of the gopher of the movie Caddyshack-she always has her hands out in front of her massive tits, folding and unfolding. She is so socially inept you wonder how she goes to the supermarket, more or less meet with the district director. She has a hit list. I thought that was quite funny. We had a running joke in the senior area that you weren't a good teacher until she crossed you off her hit list. Didn't find it as funny when she hunted me down in the last weeks of the school year to tell me I had an attitude problem. Really?? But by the way, you did an excellent job teaching ________. ????????? Cue exasperated look and rolling of eyes. I don't teach ________. So I couldn't have done a brilliant job teaching him, unless my telepathy skills have improved out of sight. Hmmmmm. And out she waddles looking perplexed.

The Male wonders why I even stay at the school. I'm just hoping Bitchtits McGee has fallen off a building, or got hit in the head by a falling cow in the holidays. But I don't think that will happen. So, we will 2 whole days of her talking, and talking, and talking, and doing her stupid little smile at everyone with her Caddyshack gopher hands folding and unfolding. The, at the end of the day, she will give us half an hour to organise our classrooms. And she will have a smile so big on her face, because she ACTUALLY thinks she is doing us a huge favour.

Urgh. Does anyone else have such a horrid leader? It's amazing how they change the entire school. Behaviour has become a nightmare, staff morale has plummeted yet she thinks she is doing an amazing job. This is how amazing she is. We have to have a classroom in a demountable this year. A year 6 class. This demountable is over in the junior area. Very clever. So my attitude problem stemmed from the fact that she wanted to place me in the demountable. Haha. Very funny. Not. So, being the now permanent teacher I am, I actually stuck to my guns and told her there was no way in hell I was moving into the demountable. Apparently that didn't go down well. Granted, I could've been nicer, more diplomatic...but I didn't really feel like it. In any case, why would you place a permanent teacher who has had 2 incredibly hard years at the school, in the demountable away from all the other senior clusters? I didn't even ask for year 6. Stick a new teacher in there. I had to deal with the crap for my first year, it's someone else's turn. But apparently, she is all about not isolating the new teacher and giving them support (where the hell was my support? Is my support?).

Having said that...I got what I wanted. The nice classroom with the new Smartboard. Is it going to make my teaching life a lot harder this year? You can bet your life on it. So today, I'm busily organising my programs to ensure they link and fit with the 150 different planning documents the Education System has thrown at us because I have a feeling Bitchtits McGee is going to be keeping a very close eye on me this year. But that's ok, I'm only there for 4 weeks before I jet off to get married and go on quite a long honeymoon. So she hasn't burst my bubble just yet!

Again......Start of the school year

2010-01-19T17:27:00.000-08:00

Okayyy....well I must admit that I haven't blogged in ages. Well, that's a bit of a stretch, I haven't blogged since the start of last year. Hmmm. But, I have to say I am now inspired. I spent all yesterday catching up on all my favourite blogs and I can now say that I am well and truly hooked! I do have a confession to make however....I'm a lurker. You know, those people who read the blogs, laugh, then go onto the next blog. I'm easily satisfied but I have a short attention span. But yes...back to being a lurker. I don't actually post anything on these blogs. And I would love to, I really would. I just don't have the guts. Or the patience or whatever is needed to post. So I lurk in the shadowy corridors of other people's blogs, stealing ideas and generally feeling insanely happy about the fact that there are other people in the world who feel the same as me. Hehe. As I stated before, very easily satisfied.

So, getting back to the fact that I haven't blogged in ages. I spoke to the Male and he wasn't exactly too enthusiastic about me blogging. He kinda sat in the dining room, mumbling whilst stuffing his face, covered in grease, about privacy and getting found out....yadda yadda yadda. So I have to admit, he did kind of put me off blogging. He is actually becoming my husband in an insanely short amount of time, and I was still in the happy throes of just got engaged...so stupidly I considered his point of view. And I coupled it with my tendency to become catatonic after school and well, you know the result...no blog entries. However! I can say, somewhat confidently, that I will keep on blogging. I like it. It's kinda chicken soup for the mentally insane teacher soul. I'm looking forward to being able to reference other blogs. I'm really looking forward to someone actually reading my blog! Ahhh, I'm almost as excited as I am when my stationary order comes in. Nothing, absolutely nothing beats the smell of new whiteboard markers and a stapler that works!

school holidays are always too short

2009-01-22T21:15:00.001-08:00

hmmm, so here I am, sitting on the couch. Blogging. Can you tell I am on school holidays?? Now don't get me wrong, I love my school holidays. They are more precious than gold. Almost. So..I have regained my sanity or most of it. But now comes the worst part. The "I better start planning and organising my classroom' part. It swirls in yur brain for a little while, then you start getting little pangs of guilt as the school year looms closer and closer. I woke up with such pangs this morning and resolved to set my classroom up today. Great. Awesome. I will be plenty organised and then I can make myself feel great by looking at those other unorganised teachers. Yes. So I loaded my car up. i have soooo much stuff this year that I am trying out and I have been organised and brought all the stuf already. I even have a bookcase in my car! So organised...becoming an organised expert.
I can't find my school keys. The ones on a lanyard, those three keys. I can't find them. At all. My house is now chaos. it was nice and neat at 9.00am. I have looked everywhere. I have even ventured into the sheds.....Male territory. I even rang said male at work. His answer of the dining room was not needed ( I was in the dining room where I had moved EVERYTHING out)Nada. Nothing. So I am dead. I begged to keep my keys over the holidays. I begged the Registrar. The person who makes life bearable or unbearable. I was given a strict warning (or threat take it as you like) If I lose the keys, I will paying with my life. hmmmm. Perhaps I shouldn't have taken the keys. I am now having mental pictures of the registrar tearing my heart out. Or having me hung, drawn and quartered. Either way..I would prefer to quit than to admit I have lost my keys.
So the Male and I have a task to do this weekend. We must locate the keys. or I will no longer be a teacher. Lesson number 2...Never, ever lose your keys!!!!

My First Blog

2009-01-17T02:59:00.000-08:00

ahhhh, the joys of a blank page! I suppose that I better start writing! I have started this blog to really just keep my sanity I think. I am a beginning teacher, this will be my second year. There are days where I think I have the best job in the world. The other 99% of days involve suicidal and particularly evil thoughts! I am in a difficult school but nothing compared to some over in America and England. I am an avid reader of Mr Babylon...check it out. His job sounds sooo much worse than mine. I teach primary but have been doing upper primary.

I am dreading the thought of school going back! I know I have a weird and quite a difficult group of kids this year. I feel like the whole year is going to drag by...me surrounded by smelly kids that love to swear. I'll get used to not being called anything but Miss. I will have to get used to the political bullsht that strangles all schools. Rule number 1-never, ever piss off the registrar. It isn't worth your life. A pissed off registrar will ensure that you have no photocopy credit, keys will go missing, your classroom supplies will be audited once a term! On that note, a little divergence-who the hell audits classroom supplies. Hmmm, I see you are short on the glitter..you have been stealing it haven't you Miss Smith? You have stolen it and now have it sitting in your undies drawer at home like a dirty little secret! haha. Please. See, this is the crap you put up with in schools. And this blog, as crap as it is written, can be like a little rule book or advice column for all you unsuspecting trainee teachers. See, I have already given you advice in my first entry. And now...with my head full of ideas and memories of last year, I will sign off. I now have to go check on my glitter :)